It’s Friday! Let’s F*ck Some Sh*t Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
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🔥 SEX – In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Spit is not lube.
Yes, that needs to be said.
And using a lube is actually REALLY beneficial to a lot of people.
Not everyone! Some folks produce more natural lubrication than they need, so lube can diminish sensation. But if you’re not in that small population, chances are pretty good that using the right lube could enhance your pleasure.
I’ve often heard — from people of all genders — that they believe there to be a “problem” of some kind if your vagina isn’t producing an adequate amount of lubrication.
That’s not actually true.
There are a variety of factors that are at play to determine how much lubrication your body naturally produces — medications, hormonal cycles, hydration, stress level, amount and quality of sleep.
And as we head into spring in the northern hemisphere and autumn in the southern hemisphere, please hear me when I say this: If you experience seasonal allergies and you take allergy medication to dry out your drippy sinuses, guess the fuck what? That shit’s gonna dry out EVERYTHING ELSE, TOO.
There is no shame in using a lubricant. It does not mean anything is wrong with you, your body, your ability to connect with your partner, or your relationship.
Use a lube. It’ll make your (sex) life better. 🔥
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💖 SELF-CARE – In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
A couple weeks ago, I went live in the Project Reclamation group to share the arsenal of self-care tools I use.
It was a lot. And if you missed it, I definitely recommend searching the group to check it out. I showed the products, gave tips on how to use them, and offered some insight on where to buy some of them.
If you aren’t in Project Reclamation yet, I want to invite you to step inside and check it out. As an equitable offer, I’ve kept it at a super low price point intentionally. (And can only do that because I have other offers at higher price points. The $10/month membership is not yet paying my bills.)
Learn the tools for your own well-being and get the support you deserve for your own self-exploration and personal development. Accessibly. 💖
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💸 SALES – Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
If you’ve been considering joining SellingU, at either the community or mastermind level, you need to get on it.
Seriously. The curriculum starts Wednesday, March 27. As in, less than a week from now.
That means the doors close that day. And it’ll be another year before you can receive the structured sales training, supportive community structure, and guided leadership that you only get inside SellingU.
When you join our community (or mastermind), you get a soft place to land. You get a built-in network. You get non-punitive accountability. You get strategy AND coaching, mindset AND skill set, theory AND practical application. And I hold your hand the whole way.
I’m not going to ask you to apply for a consult at this point, because I’m celebrating my partner’s birthday this weekend and I don’t work Mondays. So Tuesday will be the first opportunity I have to go through new applications and we start Wednesday.
Instead, either email or DM me, and we’ll set up a time to talk on Tuesday or Wednesday if you want a call. Or we can just email/DM to make sure you get the info you need to make a solid decision.
But for real. You deserve what this program offers. And this is the last opportunity you’ll have to take part in it until spring 2025. Don’t put your business success off for another year. 💸
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✨ SPELL – Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a full moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
FULL MOON RITUAL
The full moon is an excellent time to release anything you’ve been holding onto. And this can mean one of two things! Either you’ve been clinging to something that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip, or you’ve been working toward creating something that you’re now ready to release into the world. Whichever option resonates most with you, that’s where to focus your energy for this ritual.
Supplies: paper, pen, candle, some sort of non-flammable receptacle (actual cauldron, metal, glass, or ceramic bowl or pot, fire pit outside, the base of a grill — you’re gonna burn some shit up so you want something to let it burn in that’s not going to cause any damage to anything)
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else. Then light your candle.
Write out what it is that you’d like to release. If this is something you’ve been clinging to that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip on it, fold the paper in half AWAY from your body. If it’s something you’ve been working on and are releasing into the world, fold the paper in half TOWARD your body.
Light the paper on fire and let it burn in your non-flammable receptacle.
BONUS: If you want to mix the burnt ashes with salt and/or offer them back to the earth by sprinkling them around outside or burying them under the moon, go for it!
WARNING: WE ARE IN ECLIPSE SEASON!
On Monday, March 25, we’ll have a full moon eclipse in Libra. And while some folks (myself included) are down to work with eclipse energies, many will advise against it because they tend to be chaotic and unpredictable.
If you’re one to sit the eclipses out, you can still use this as an opportunity for some ritualized self-care. And I absolutely recommend that.
If, however, you want to embrace the chaos, this might be a useful time to consider what you need to release with regard to your partnerships.
Whether or not you choose to work with the unpredictability of this eclipse, if you’re doing a ritual of any kind, I’d love to know about it! Email me or tag me in a social post to share your ritualized practice with me. ✨
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✊ STATECRAFT – Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
This week, we’re getting super local to my community and hexing John Sherman, majority owner of the Kansas City Royals.
If you’re in the KC area, you know we vote on April 2 on the sales tax regarding the Royals moving their stadium from the K to a thriving neighborhood in the Crossroads.
One of the arguments of benefits is to point to the development of the Sprint Center (now T-Mobile Center) and Power & Light District, and allllll the great things that brought to the downtown area.
And that’s true! Because at the time of that development, there wasn’t a lot happening downtown.
The Crossroads, though? That’s an already well-established arts and entertainment district.
No, the idea that the arts district is to the west of the proposed area is not correct. How do I know? Because I used to live in the middle of the proposed area and walked outside my front door to attend First Fridays every month, and I’ve attended many times since moving to other parts of the city. That is absolutely false information. The arts district is actively in the proposed area AND to the west. It takes up a lot of space. Again — it’s well-established and thriving. The proposed ballpark? It would kill all of that.
It may sound like I’m anti-downtown ballpark, in general. I’m not. But the current proposal is absurd, and draped in a lot of fantasy.
Will the new stadium bring a bunch of NEW commerce into the city? Will it create a bunch of NEW jobs? Will it expand upon the desirability of KC as a tourist destination?
I don’t think so. All the information being put out to indicate all of that will happen is extremely speculative and there’s not a grounded way to prove any of it.
For more info on the details, this video is pretty helpful.
With regard to the generality of a downtown ballpark, there are blighted areas not far from the proposed district. That’s what P&L and the Sprint Center took over. That could be helpful. What they’re currently proposing? Nah. Miss me with all of that.
If you’re in the voting area, please vote no on April 2. And if you’re not, please direct your hexation to John Sherman to support that no vote.
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
